The Hard Life of a Serial Addict

Watching television may seem easy, pleasant, a relaxing hobby and (perhaps, someday, if HBO reads our blog) a job, but we have our tough moments too. Not everything is a season finale of Lost, Ruth Fisher making dinner or Claire Underwood with one of her glorious gabardines. If you have been watching TV long enough I’m sure you’ve found  in some of these ruthless situations.

– Trying to explain what Six feet Under is about.

“It’s about a family owner of a funeral home… every chapter starts with someone’s death… but you will totally love it, one of the best shows out there for sure”. How many times have I said this? Nevertheless, it doesn’t sound convincing at all. Although you know it doesn’t sound attractive, you are forced to recommend it to everyone you know, one of the many curses that serial addicts suffer.

– Defending the Lost finale.

“The first seasons were cool, but then… bullshit, in the end they all were dead or something like that” Lost is more than a TV show, is a husband or a wife that you married years ago, and you CAN NOT stand someone bad-mouthing it like that. You have to argue and start a debate (even if you don’t want to, it’s your sacred duty) about the series that will divide humanity forever into two groups: those who liked it and those who didn’t.
“Night gathers, and now my watch begins“.

– Cancellations

Carnivàle, Rome, Pushing Daisies or Arrested Development (not anymore) are TV shows that somehow became a part of your life: your sense of humor, the way you understand how a historic period feels like, your mythology… but they suddenly disappear and leave you alone. The worst thing is not finding something to replace it, the true horror is that you knew it was television’s history. In that moment you hate the channel (I don’t know how the HBO building still exist), you hate the people who haven’t seen those shows and you probably joined supporting groups on Facebook, sent emails to the producers, etc. Your anger will be gone in a week or so, but that wound never heals.
Check Carnivàle’s Facebook page.

– Teenagers.

Family is an essential part of television, but there should be a limit, and that is Dana Brody. The daughter of Damian Lewis in Homeland is one of the most exasperating and hateful characters in the last few years. Nobody cares about her story, about her hypersensitivity but there we had it… hindering the development of the show in every chapter. Dana is not the only one, Rectify has Jared, its own boring and bland teenage boy, he has a cool hairstyle though.
Mother Russia saves Jenning’s children.

– That character.

The creature in Penny Dreadful, the Asian CSI-like character in Hannibal, Colin Hanks in Fargo, the Piper’s boyfriend in Orange is the New Black… When you really like a show, a bad character isn’t just that, is something personal: you want him DEAD, you hate when he or she speaks with the characters you love, or simply contaminate somehow other plots. The only option besides dying (the pleasure when that happens…) is becoming a parody of himself (but it’s not enough, is it?).

– The Super Bowl.

With a smile on your face you wake up and think “I can’t wait to see this week’s episode of Game of Thrones“, but it is that day of the year, the day you face an unspeakable reality… there won’t be a chapter this week because of the effing Super Bowl. People who live in the EEUU know when the event is going to take place, but in Europe nothing prepares you for that unpleasant surprise.

Time to read.

– Lena Dunham

Sometimes a gif is more useful than a thousand words.

The Homecoming Queen.

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