The Walking Dead: Dumbness Everywhere

As hard as I try, I still can not understand how someone can see a good entertainment in The Walking Dead, probably the most stupid, nonsensical hour of television for the last 5 years. I seriously doubt that 14 million Americans tune in every week for the same reasons as I do: the laughs and the wish of one of the characters getting chopped in a very, very explicit way.

There were three perfect examples in this midseason finale, “Coda”, that proved The Walking Dead writers are not precisely rocket scientists. But first this:

BOINK

Ha, ha! You get it? It’s funny because it’s true! TWD characters are exactly like that walker below, wandering among locations until they trip over some plot-line that ends up killing them in a dumb way. And we are even more concerned about this innocent zombie’s fate than the survivors’.

Let’s now take a look at some of the twists the finale offered us. Last week Rick, Daryl and some other people whose names I do not care to remember apprehended a group of police officers in order to make an exchange for Beth and Carol. The episode ended with this jaw-dropping event:

I’d like to call this GIF “Perfect Prison Break” or “BOINK 2”

“Coda” picks up right where we left off, policeman whatever-his-name-is tries to run off but Rick turns out to be not a big fan of the law forces and instead of simply picking up the man who, let’s not forget, was handcuffed, he decided to run him over and then shoot him in the head jinxing, pretty much, the exchange plan. Great job! Smart!

vlcsnap-2014-12-01-18h45m17s172

BOINK 3

On another front, we have Father Gabriel, a man unable to kill a walker and protect himself because… well…. walkers are also God creatures? So this defenseless man decided last week to go for a stroll (!) by himself (!!) in the middle of a zombie apocalypse (!!!). This is obviously the living proof that Darwin was wrong when he theorized about the survival of the fittest…

In “Coda”, good Father Gabriel surprisingly bumped into a bunch of high school walkers, since he decided to visit the local education facilities, who did not seem very eager to welcome the Lord Jesus Christ in their hearts. The brainy priest had to run back off to the church dragging the walkers with him and ruining everyone’s safe place. Amazing work, Father!

vlcsnap-2014-12-01-18h46m39s189

“I’ve made a huge mistake”

Last but not least, Beth’s rescue mission turned out to be one of the most ludicrous things the show has pulled off in its 5 seasons (and, believe me, this is all an achievement). After a successful exchange between prisoners, Beth had another of these epiphanies and turned around just to stab the hospital’s group leader, who, at the time, was holding a gun in her hand, with what appears to be a pair of nail scissors. Beth got rightfully killed by that lady cop, and, then, the lady cop got a nice headshot by Daryl because it was a midseason finale and people had to die. The Walking Dead works in mysterious ways.

FINAL BOINK

Joking aside, TWD‘s main problem is that is a zombie show, and not only thematically. There is not final goal for these characters, they just wander around, some of them get killed, some new ones will join but, at the end, it is a show killed in its own premise. It could have worked as a nice short miniseries (take a look at Dead Set). However, it is too late now, writing has gone downhill (or was it ever good?) and the main characters are whether uninteresting or completely wasted: Rick, Daryl, Carol… they are all as good as dead.

J.

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